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John Cena
A fantastic wrestler who has been having great matches since he became a wrestler and makes loads of money for WWE. A man so great, that his number one fan is the mighty Anchor. K-Fed made him his bitch. Spokesman for the WWE drug free generation. John Cena is cited as proof that God exists as he went un-injured for a huge run with the title while Smackdown had injured 3 champions. His strange injury from a hip toss is beleived to have occured because even God was bored with his never ending title run. And Beaner blames Kennedy for this shit! While his finishing moves are predacated on the theory that his opponents somehow "can't see" him because he is waving his fingers in front of face, ironically, Cena has failed to "see" that by placing his own hand in front of his own face, it is actually Cena who cannot see his oppoents. The irony here has escaped Cena, his oppponets and millions of fans the world over, and everyone seems to just dig that shit anyway. It's eerily similar to how a two-year-old "hides" from you by covering her own eyes in a game of 'peek-a-boo'. Don't talk shit about Total Divas if it gets back to Cena you'll be fucked. Full Cena Moveset 1. FU 2. STFU 3. Protoplex 4. Five Knuckle Shuffle 5. Diving shoulder Tackle 6. Fisherman Suplex 7. Poorly executed top rope leg drop 8. Clothesline 9. Punch 10. Bulldog/Throwback 11. School Boy Roll up 12. Drop toe hold 13. Arm Drag 14. The Steps Throw (See: Royal Rumble, Umaga) 15. Hurling of Edge into the Sea 16. FU through a table 17. FU through TWO tables 18. FU off of steps onto a table 19. FU off of machinery 20. STFU Ladder Sandwich (actually kind of cool) 21. STFU w/ the Ring Ropes to choke 22. Weak chairshot 23. Kicking of chair when he realizes just how bad that chair shot was. 24. Feet up when being sandwiched in the corner 25. Protoplex on the steps 26. Five Knuckle Shuffle with someone on the steps 27. Five knuckle Shuffle off of the ladder. 28. Pumping up of Pump up shoes 29. 'You can't see me' hand gesture 30. Hiptoss while landing on his ass like a goon 31. Powerslam - kinda. 32. Weak kick when setting up FU. 33. Monitor CRUSH~! 34. Back elbow 35. Armbar 36. Body slam 37. DDT 38. Irish Whip 39. Running the ropes 40. Gay Marine Salute 41. Screaming/Yelling 42. Quivering 43. Overcoming the Odds 44. Missing cross body 45. Side Headlock 46.Attitude Adjustment 47.STF (That's 42 more moves than what Bret Hart knows) Category:WWE Category:Living People Category:American professional wrestlers Category:Black brothers Category:Has killed someone Category:Unclipped Dicks Category:Never drew a dime Category:Doesn't have 'IT' Category:Submissive Bottoms Category:People who live in different dimensions Category:People Who are Actually Worse Than Josh Matthews Category:NO BUYS Category:People who SUCK Category:Faggots Category:Nazis Category:People who aren't the toughest piece of work in wrestling today Category:Worse than Hulk Hogan Category:Definitely Not JUST A GUY~! Category:People who aren't the next big thing